Reminders of Who and What I Am

Sufi Definition of Kemal - who and what I am

     Kemal is the culmination of Jemal and Jelal and a bit beyond them.  Kemal washes out conflicts, purifies duality and joins all into the ocean of life.  It is the living divine essence within each of us, when we discover it.  You may have experiences or glimpses, or days, weeks, or even months, yet it eluded you because you weren't ready to hold it steady.   It is the diamond soul that shines and cuts through all.  I believe that truth seekers are given graces on this for sneak previews (LOL) from the Divine Source.

Jewel of the Heart

     I also have had experiences like this when the world is like a dream, and even though going through the motions of living, I felt very objective and very subjective also; an underlying love and care, yet not attached to it because it felt that a very refined being was within me, like a visitor.  I was thankful for its presence when it deigned to visit me during those years.  Everything was a state of discovery, and problems not viewed as problems.  There was no stress, just a clarity of the possibilities that can be realized to discover what would function or not.  It felt like a deep state of grace.  All the human qualities were underlying or felt

as they were in the background.   Attention, deep mindfulness, calm, and bliss awareness were there in the forefront, and a devotion for life pervaded. 

I became puzzled when these states would terminate.  I was told by spiritual mentors that I was not ready to maintain that.  It happened quite a few times in my 20's and 30's, maybe once or twice in my 40's (always during times of practicing meditation though).

Reading the book "The Power of Now" Eckhart Tolle explained it beautifully and I will try to find and quote the passage that he said which clearly surmises why I could or would not keep this beautiful Kemali experience.

~Cecelia Blackstone~

       

Ashes of Ashes

     Ashes of colors, ashes of dusty colors, ashes of love's burnt desires and of love's disgrace, spinning endlessly into eternity's face.

       Ashes, ashes, ashes, all ashes in the end after all. What matter then? 

       To make the most of each day as if it were the first and last day ever? Or to drone on, and then wince and agonize when life seems too short?  

         What matter when everything turns to dust ashes at the end? Ah! The ashes are just a sign, a residue of what was. When pondering the 10,000 ash philosophy, consider its source and what a source! Consider even its ending.

       All goes out in a state of glory. It can be glorious pain or glorious contentment, or in-between. Maybe even a glorious bliss and somewhere in-between am I. What matter? It does not, for there is no matter anymore to be reckoned with, therefore, it matters not. What matter is no matter at all. Ashes to ashes and then out of the ashes is born a new wave from its collision to another form. The wave grows and soon a new life emerges from that faded of all faded ash. Life is as endless as the cosmic stars and riddles because everything is every thing.

       A myriad of things are reborn in the form of what is best suited for individual evolvement. Therefore, to make the most of each day is just an obscure way of saying that there is a choice to make on what you do, and how you do it. 

     What you do transfers to your interests. One must choose interests which affect the life extension of each person, beginning with one's own life. One must choose to also include other people's life extensions. In other words, one must include the desire to allow another person to have as much opportunity for living life in a manner which does not harm, interfere or alter the way in which they choose to extend their own life by the productive and life affirming ways and qualities that morally brighten their spirit. These ways either confirm love and goodwill to each the other, or they are neutral and do not influence or reflect each other, being that there is no rapport with each other at all, knowing that there are innumerable people in the world that we do not communicate with. Nor do we expect to because there are far too many of us, yet, we live, and let live for they have a right as we to fully extend their lives.

       How you live your life demands that we perceive and observe and weigh out what we will let enter into our lives as choices revel in the art of becoming as if though choices themselves were alive. If we are low in energy, it is not possible to live life in the fullest capacity. The same when we are ill, or in pain, etc. Therefore, it is essential that how you live your life, in the face of all our incapacities, matches or parallels what you do. So that in the act of what you're doing, whatever it is, the intent and purpose of the act, as well as the spirit in which you are performing the act, equal and balance each other so that your thought-feeling mechanism can unite in the action. This doesn't mean that cooking will ignite happiness if you usually love to cook, but the mental therapy involved will usually trigger happiness. On a gloomy, wintry day the opposite may be true, and on these trying times, the act of uniting the thought-feeling mechanism must come first in order to maintain and cherish happiness.

       You may ask what this has to do with ashes and ashes. Ashes are the product of death, and the death products always bring to mind the living assets. In addition, death warrants on ashes to ashes brings with it the issue of having found life worthy as well as the deep desire to continue life even if life has not been the best. Whether the best or the worst or in-between, one does want to live life as long as can be, unless one is into very old age and life becomes a burden. 

       It is great to know that right now, you can make a different to your own life and that you do have the capacity to make life what you want it to be in order to be happy. If you are economically disadvantaged, you may be more spiritual in nature so that you can maintain felicity. Whatever economy or predicament, you are the author of your days. Remember, whoever you are, that reaching happiness requires those two things: what you do and how you live your life.

~Cecilia Blackstone~